I’ve never been to Portland but I always have some idea of it in my head. I always think it must be some super awesome mecca for queers and radicals and non-conformists. I have friends and family living there and I always feel so jealous and like I’m missing out on something so good. Something so good like vegan donuts, Fat Fancy and so many outlets and opportunities to socialize and become a part of a community. I feel like I’m missing out.
Deep down inside I think I am probably wrong about all of this. I felt this way about Berkeley back in the early 90s and when I finally got to go there I was so let down. I had built it up so much in my head that when I got there I just felt depressed and like the magic I was searching for certainly wasn’t there.
I have a feeling that most of these location dilemmas come from me being a socially awkward person who is never quite comfortable with myself. I think it also comes from me being someone who is too lazy to fight boredom and just expects everything I want to come my way.
I live in Los Angeles and this is where I will most likely stay. I have a family, I do. I have two toddler sons and and a husband. His family lives here in southern California and most of mine does too. We work here, live here, go to school here - so it makes sense to stay.
I’m sure there is a community I would love to be active in here in So Cal but with no car or license, no friends and a busy stay-at-home-mom* schedule I end up stuck. I have a lot of ideas but no means to turn them into actions. I want to run an art show, have an open mic night, start a performance group, do guerrilla karaoke takeovers, have potlucks, dance parties……just so so much but I don’t know how or where to begin.
(*it is also awkward to meet people at events that I go to as most that I go to or want to go to are happenings in the queer scene or the bdsm scene or both and I get a lot of confused WTF looks over me being a mom in a monogamous hetero marriage. I don’t know. It takes all kinds I guess.)